1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

-Neil Gaiman

Monsters

Monsters

I hear the thud thud thud of little feet in the hallway moments before the door to the room bursts open and he runs in crying..

I'm scared he says.. And I can't sleep.. I think there's a monster under my bed..

I pick him up and set him beside me and I tell him there's nothing to be afraid of.. Monsters aren't real...

But if it would make you feel better you can stay in here with me where its safe for a while..

And Its the middle of the night when my phone rings..

"I'm scared she says, and I can't sleep.. I keep having these terrible dreams about monsters..."

And I want to put my arms around her and tell her the same comforting words I tell him.. "There's nothing to be afraid of..
Monsters aren't real...".

But I know what she's been through.... And I know how empty those words would be..

Because you see..

Sometimes the monsters ARE real..

And I hope she learns to not be scared..

I hope one day she can put a face on her fears..

Because when you can put a face on what you're afraid of.

Then you can beat it.

Then she could stand here and tell her story..

And maybe her story would inspire someone..

And maybe that might just be enough

To save them..

Someday..

I write the words I never say
A mind full of thoughts and questions
Both happy and angry swirling around
Making sense of nothing
Only questions coming

Filling pages until the pen runs out of ink
The pencil is whittled to nothing
And my fingers are bruised from typing
Still never getting the words right

It builds inside
Like the crescendo at the end of a symphony
My only outlet is to scream at the moon

So I scream at the moon
Because I can't hurt its feelings
And I'd rather hurt mine
Because I cry my tears in silence

Quiet tears in a busy room
In the corner ignored
By people too blind
Too busy to notice

They'll notice one day
Ten mintues too late

And sometimes the loneliness is so loud
When you're standing in a room full of people
And you want to cry out
But you stay silent.

Someday I'll say what it is I want to say

Someday.

Conviction

There is a small bookstore that I go to sometimes and listen to spoken word poetry at. It's a little out of the way place where people stand up and talk about anything they desire, and do it passionately to a room full of people. I was there the other night and a guy who shall remain nameless stood up and talked about conviction.. I thought it was good, and it is with his permission ;) that I am posting it here.


Conviction..

I want to talk to you about conviction.

Not the textbook, dictionary, blah blah blah definition of conviction

But the real world, in your face everyday definition of conviction

I don't want to know what you stand for.

I want to know what you'll stand for.

I want to know what you'll stand up and yell at the top of your lungs for

In the face of someone yelling right back at you that you're wrong

I want to know where it is that you draw the line in the sand

And I want to know if you'll sign your name to that line and say this is where I stand.

I want to know what your dreams are

And I want to know if you'll defend those dreams with every ounce of your being when someone tries to take them from you.

I want to know if you're strong enough to stand by someone you care for

Even if it means having to stand alone, all by yourself

I want to know what moves you

What compels you

What angers you

I want to know what your heart beats for

And I want to know what you'd die for

It's not about what you say

It's about what you do

That is your conviction.

A New Beginning

When I originally started this blog, I set out to use it as a way to write about things that I thought mattered.. I wanted to write about my thoughts in a way that maybe someone else would read and take something away from it or maybe even relate to it. Well somewhere along the way I got a little sidetracked and lost my way, so I've gotten rid of all that and have decided to give this another shot..

So like they said in that one movie..

here.... we..... go....